The TED video of Brene Brown talking about “The Power of Vulnerability” is one thing that inspired me towards sharing and being open with my life on this blog. {The main inspiration and the one I am most grateful for, is all the people who have personally told me that they enjoy reading these blog posts and it has helped them in someway – THANK YOU!}
This video also challenges me towards being even more vulnerable, love with my whole heart, practice gratitude, and believe that I am enough in all the areas of my life. It is a long video (20 minutes), but it goes by quickly and it is packed with tons of great take away messages to apply to your life. However if you don’t have time to watch it right now, here are some nuggets of wisdom from her talk {below the video}. Maybe one of these will resonate with you today. Lots of Love – Judi
The following are excerpts from “The Power of Vulnerability” TED Talk by Brene Brown:
Stories are data with a soul.
Connection is why we are all here. It is what gives meaning and purpose to our lives.
Shame = The FEAR of disconnection
{Shame} Is there something that if other people know or see about me, that I then won’t be worthy of connection?
Shame = I’m not __{good}__{pretty}__{thin}__{smart}__{together}_ enough.
The thing that underpins shame is excruciating vulnerability.
In order for connection we have to allow ourselves to be seen – really seen!
Shame boils down into two groups of people:
1. People who have a sense of worthiness. A strong sense of love and belonging and they believe they are worthy of love and belonging.
2. People who struggle for worthiness and always wondering if they are good enough.
The one thing that keeps us out of connection with other people is our fear that we are not worthy of connection.
What does everyone in the first group of people have? The whole hearted people…
1. Courage – To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. The courage to be imperfect.
2. Compassion – The compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others.
We can’t practice compassion with other people – if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
3. Connection – They had connection as a result of authenticity. They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they are.
They fully embraced vulnerability.
They believed that what made them vulnerable also made them beautiful.
They didn’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable or excruciating, but talked about it being necessary.
Vulnerability = The willingness to say I love you first.
Vulnerability = Doing something where there are no guarantees.
Vulnerability is at the CORE of shame, fear, and our struggle for worthiness, BUT it is also at the CORE of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.
Why do we struggle with vulnerability so much?
We live in a vulnerable world. Where there are no guarantees.
We choose to numb vulnerability.
BUT we cannot selectively numb our emotions. We can’t numb pain, fear, shame – without also numbing joy, gratitude, meaning, etc…
Numbing doesn’t always have to be an addiction to something like drugs or food. People also numb themselves in other ways like:
1. We make everything uncertain – certain.
Blame = a way to discharge pain, discomfort, and suffering
2. We Perfect.
We need to love our children as imperfect and worthy of belonging and love.
3. We Pretend.
We pretend that what we do / say doesn’t have a HUGE impact on other people.
CONCLUSION
How to Live a Vulnerable Whole Hearted Life
1. Let Ourselves Be Seen – Vulnerably Seen
2. Love with our Whole Hearts – Even though there are no guarantee's
3. Practice Gratitude – Lean into the Joy – Being Vulnerable Means you are Alive
4. Believe that we are Enough. Be kinder and Gentler to yourself and to others.
